Simple Guide: How Much I Like Animals

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Hello there. I sometimes get questions on how I feel about dogs, and how I feel about cats, and once in a while I get asked about other animals. One day I realized, there is actually a simple guide to understanding how much I will like an animal, purely based on it’s size.

Intro

“You must be crazy”, “You are so judgmental” , “You are so ‘size’ist”. You know what I say to this people? You are probably right. But, do not be so quick to judge young squire. Let me demonstrate with an easy one.

Mosquitos

Mosquitos. We can all agree they are pretty lame, and don’t really do much. They are small, and I don’t like them.

Spiders

Spiders. I like them more than mosquitos, but still could live without them. I never had one as a pet, probably never will, but wouldn’t mind if my future son had one.

Gecko

Gecko. Now who doesn’t like reptiles? Plus these guys make great commercials! So, you are starting to see a trend now right? Good, because I am about to shatter your brain!

Hamsters

Hamsters. I do like these little guys, but, not as cool as those Geckos. So, now we start to take a downward turn towards dislike again. Next up…

Small Dogs

Small Dogs. Before you judge too much, realize these are just small dogs. Anything Jack Black can punt off a bridge would qualify under this category.

*Let’s take a little break*

“Aaron, where are you going next? Are you going up, or down?”
I’m glad you asked! I am actually going down, to my most despised animal.

Cats

Cats. These creatures are lazy and good for nothing house animals. Leave a bunch of cats out in the wilderness no way they are going to live. They are moody and all they want is your attention, then you give it to them, and they scratch you! My dad mentioned today “We’ve had two dogs, but never had a cat”… Umm… We had a cat for 14 years… I’m sure that if we had a spider he would remember that. But, cats… They just sit there, and most of the time you don’t even know where.

Fox

Fox. Alright, back to fun. Now that I am off my soapbox, I bring to you an animal bigger than the cat, but smaller than my favorite animal. Foxes are so sneaky, sly, and none of us know what they say! What’s not to love?

*Drum roll please*

At the top of my list is!!!!!

Dog

DOGS! These are some of the best creatures on earth! Who doesn’t want to just take that leash out of his mouth and go on a walk!? Dogs are so much fun to play with, they are loyal, they can do tricks, fun to play with, all they want is for you to love them, never moody, fun to play with. The thing about small dogs is that thy are more like cats, I want a dog you can wrestle and possibly lose to (I’m not a very good wrestler).

Now, I know there’s bigger animals out there, but they are all just kinda grouped up with dogs. I love em all.

So, what are you thoughts? Does this match your animal loving graph? How do you measure how much you like animals? Disagree? Let me know down below!

One thought on “Simple Guide: How Much I Like Animals

    Facebook Jesus « Aaron Kretzmann said:
    February 5, 2014 at 7:25 am

    […] Facebook, reconnecting with friends, staying updated on big life events and looking a memes about how much cooler dogs are than cats, it is purely a supplement to friendships and nowhere near a replacement. We still need to have […]

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